Hope Eternal
by DarkDreamer56
Summary: NS Friendship Will hope be enough to sustain them through? My admittedly late post ep response to Gum Drops.


Title: Hope Eternal  
Author: DarkDreamer56  
Archive: If you want it, ask please!  
Rating: T  
Pairing: N/S friendship  
Disclaimer: Oh the possibilities if I owned them…maybe Santa will leave me the rights under my Christmas tree? Or maybe I'll just get Season 5 instead…  
Spoilers: "Gum Drops" (6x05)

A/N: Well, this took long enough. I've been working on this in one shape or another since "Gum Drops" aired, but my motivation/inspiration was incredibly lacking there for awhile. I absolutely loved this episode, which I think was part of the problem. In the past, most of my post eps have been gut-wrench reactions to something that I felt was missing from a particular episode, but this one just left me wanting more of the same quality of writing/continuity. This is my attempt to continue the ep with something I would have liked to have seen. Dedicated to Julie, who I hope is feeling better, and who issued a post ep challenge, and to Kristen, who asked me to write this (albeit it a few weeks ago). Hope you enjoy, please let me know what you think in a review!

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Nick looked exhausted as he finally emerged from Cassie's room, taking one last glance at the sleeping girl, before shutting the door behind him. Sara watched him walk down the hallway, clutching a tape recorder and LVPD file folder in his hands. He sunk down wearily into the chair next to her, and wordlessly accepted the cup of coffee she offered.

"How's she doing?" Sara asked quietly.

"Groggy, in pain. But she got through the whole story. God Sara, what those boys did to her…"

Sara could see that Nick was coming down from the high of finding Cassie alive, and the horrors of what had happened to her were beginning to set in. She remembered the feeling all too well. He set the now empty cup down on the floor, running his hand over his head in frustration. She had heard from Luke Daniels, exactly what those boys had done to her, but she could only imagine it was worse, hearing it from the scratchy voice of the traumatized ten year old.

Nick wordlessly slipped a piece of paper out of the folder and placed it in Sara's lap. She smiled faintly as she saw the crayon drawing on the front and realized it was a card that Cassie had made to thank Nick for rescuing her. She felt tears stinging her eyes as she opened the card, and read the child like inscription, so simple but full of meaning. She looked over to Nick, seeing the pain in his eyes and realizing that he wasn't ready to talk about it yet. She handed the card back, watching as he carefully tucked it back into the folder. She took a deep breath and tried to stall her tears.

Instead she focused on the case. "Sheriff Brackett told me they are going to transfer her to Desert Palm in the morning, and then go from there. Truthfully, I don't think he really knows what to do next, he's never had to deal with anything like this before."

Nick sounded exhausted as he asked the next question. "Did he say anything about any family?"

Sara propped her hand up to her cheek, sighing. "Something about an aunt. Last address they have is somewhere in Colorado, but they haven't been able to track her down yet. I guess she moves around a lot."

"She'll probably have to go into foster care if they can't find her aunt…" Nick sighed, leaning his elbows on his thighs and cradling his head in his hands, file and recorder lying forsaken in the empty seat next to him.

"She'll be okay Nick, you did good," she whispered, reaching over to run her hand lightly across the back of his hoodie.

Nick turned his head towards her, a few tears gathering dangerously close to the surface. "I had to tell her that her whole family is dead. She asked where they were, told me not to baby her, that's she's ten years old…but my God Sara, she is just a baby…"

Sara could feel the tears in her own eyes as she tried to keep her voice controlled; she had remained strong for Nick through the entire case, she wouldn't lose it now. She continued to rub comforting circles across his back. "Not anymore. What she went through…she's not the same little girl anymore. Something like that makes you grow up pretty fast."

"No one should have to grow up that fast."

"No, no one should, but it happens," Sara replied sadly, "and it sucks. But she's a survivor, Nick." She took a deep breath and tentatively placed her hand over one of his. "And she was lucky enough to have you looking for her. That's worth a lot."

Sara couldn't help the crack in her voice when she saw Nick's watery smile shooting up at her. His eyes locked on hers briefly before he sighed and sat back in his chair.

"She's all alone. I have my family, you guys. But she doesn't have anyone."

His head leaned back against the wall behind him, one hand gliding back and forth over the plastic arms of the uncomfortable waiting room chairs, and the other still allowing Sara to cover it with her own hand.

Sara wasn't exactly sure why, but her instincts told her that Cassie would be one of the ones to make it. Maybe it was because she saw brief glimpses of herself in the little girl, even in the little time she had spent with her, or maybe it was Nick's attachment to the girl; Sara knew all too well, how important it was for someone to care in those first few hours after such a traumatic event.

"It won't be easy," Sara admitted with a sigh, "but you know, there's still her aunt. Who's to say they won't find her?"

Nick looked at her curiously, wiping away a stray tear. "When did you become an optimist?" He chuckled weakly, bringing a small smile to Sara's face.

"Guess you've just been a bad influence on me," she threw back lightly, before turning serious again. "Nick…I didn't mean to come across as some sort of callous bitch, I just didn't want you to..."

"Hey, you didn't, and I know. It's okay Sar," Nick interrupted. Sara glanced over at him, noting the serious expression on his face, and a nod of understanding passed between the two.

Sara watched Nick carefully from the corner of her eye as he tried to pull himself together. He eventually began to stare off into space, the expression on his face nearly breaking Sara's heart. He looked so lost, and nearly heartbroken himself. The exact thing that Sara had desperately tried to protect him from was happening anyways; Sara smacked herself mentally for not realizing that this case would leave emotional scars, regardless of whether they found Cassie alive or not.

"What kind of life does she have to come back to now? Her whole family is gone…she's probably gonna end up in the system, bounced from foster home to foster home, and she has to live with those memories every day."

Sara swallowed hard, not quite sure she should be asking the next question, even though her gut told her it would cut to the heart of the matter. "Nick?" she asked quietly. "Do you ever wish that we'd been too late?" Sara held her breath and averted her eyes, already filling with a few tears as she waited for Nick to answer. She felt him tense beside her.

"What? No, never," he answered sharply. He let out a deep breath, and then continued, his voice a little softer. "Sara, even with all the nightmares, all the sleepless nights…I'm still so grateful that I'm here with you guys." His voice cracked. "You guys didn't give up on me, and I've never wished for a second that you had, or that you hadn't gotten there when you did. Well…maybe a little bit earlier than you did…" Nick's weak joke failed to bring a smile to Sara's face; instead she felt a few tears trickle down her cheeks. "And I'm not saying that now I wish we hadn't found her…I just don't know what's going to happen to her now that we have. How is she even gonna begin to get through this, when she doesn't have anybody left?"

Nick sounded near tears by the end of his explanation, and Sara felt another few tears escape as she let out the breath she had been holding. Sara hated the question she'd asked, but now she understood another piece of what was bothering Nick. Coming from such a large family, Sara figured that Nick couldn't understand exactly what coping mechanisms could come into play for a little girl left without anyone at all. Nick had had his fair share of bad experiences, but Sara knew that Nick attributed his resiliency more to the support of the family and friends around him, than to any sort of inner strength of his own. Sara disagreed with that wholeheartedly, believing Nick to be one of the strongest people she knew, but she could see how Nick could come to that conclusion; she imagined that growing up the youngest of such a large family had to skew your beliefs somehow.

Sara slid her fingers between Nicks', grasping at the hand below hers and squeezing once. She knew what she had to do, and despite a moment of hesitation, she plowed forward.

"Nick, when I was twelve," she began quietly, "my mother, she, uh, she stabbed my father to death." She felt his eyes burning into her as he gripped her hand. "I ended up hiding under their bed while she…when the police came, they didn't know how to get me to come out. There was this one cop…" Sara trailed off for a moment as she tried to regain control of her voice. "He somehow made his away around all the blood and wedged himself under with me. Talked to me until I was ready to come out. And as soon as I did, he scooped me up and took me outside. Sat with me until the Social Services woman showed up. He even came to see me the next day…brought me a teddy bear. It's in a box in the back of my closet. And I'm gonna remember him for the rest of my life…"

"Oh Sara, I'm so sorry," Nick whispered hoarsely, still gripping her hand.

"No Nick, it's okay." Sara responded, smiling shakily at him. "I know it's not quite the same as what Cassie went through…but the point is, that for Cassie, that's you. You're that first person to care about her after what happened, and believe me when I say that that means a lot. More than you'll ever know Nick. Yeah, she's gonna go through a lot of dark stuff…but I think she's gonna make it."

"She reminds you of yourself," Nick stated quietly. Sara nodded, blinking back a few tears. "Then I guess she's lucky that way too…I'm sorry Sara, I didn't know…"

Sara shrugged. "I never told you, there was no reason for you to think…"

Nick squeezed her hand. "I knew something…I just didn't know what..."

"Hey, it's okay." Sara sniffled once, and then continued. "Now what do you say we go get you some real food, and then head back home?"

Nick's expression was a mixture of sadness and hope, but there was a small smile on his face, and Sara knew that he would let their line of conversation drop.

"Home sounds good. But we should probably get the evidence back to the lab first…"

"Already done. I sent Greg back with everything in my Denali. He grabbed Cassie's clothes and things from the hospital before he left. And I grabbed our stuff from the motel, so we can leave whenever you want."

Nick chuckled softly, bringing a smile to Sara's face. "You actually trusted Greg to drive three hours in your vehicle?"

"He knows that if something happens to my car, then something happens to him," she replied simply, standing and pulling Nick up with her. "Now, Sheriff Brackett told me about this diner about a half hour into the drive back that makes a mean steak and eggs…"

Nick reached for the folder and tape recorder, but made no move to relinquish his grasp of Sara's hand as he walked with her out of the small Pioche medical center. He didn't protest when Sara walked around to the driver's side, but wordlessly climbed into the passenger seat of his car. He leaned his head back against the headrest as Sara navigated back towards the highway. Sara glanced over a few minutes later, a small smile gracing her lips as she noticed his head leaning against the window, his deep and easy breathing a comforting sound to Sara's ears. She knew it wouldn't be easy for Nick to let go of this particular case, of Cassie McBride, but Sara was pleased that Nick had expressed even the briefest glimmer of hope that Cassie would be okay. As Sara started the drive back to Vegas, she prayed to everything that she believed in that hope would be enough to get Nick through.

FIN.


End file.
